As featured on p. 218 of "Bloggers on the Bus," under the name "a MyDD blogger."

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Full O' Himself

On occasion I'll pop over to "Loofa" O'Reilly in the morning to see what he's doing. Today he was broadcasting live from Boston, that hub of cultural and academic and political liberalism, scourge to priests everywhere. And he was talking about the Rick Santorum situation (yesterday), and how he tried to get the Senator on the show to defend himself. "He won't come on because he's scared," O'Reilly intoned. "That's the biggest-- the biggest-- mistake I've seen any politician make in a long long time."

Yeah, Bill. Refusing to talk to you-- YOU!-- is the biggest mistake any politician can make. Everyone knows how you've deicmated France with your boycott (exports are up in the country since you started it), everyone knows that no politician dare snub Lord O'Reilly lest he be banished to the very depths of purgatory!

Incidentally, O'Reilly kind of agreed with Santorum-- though he wouldn't extend it to the Catholic sexual abuse scandal-- that the cultural attitudes of Boston naturally lead to a more permissive society. I wonder if he'll take any of the blame for that himself, you know, him being the author of the soft-core porn novella "Those Who Trespass", featuring such permissive passages as this:

Stripping off her bathing-suit, she walked into the huge shower. She pulled the lime green curtain across the entrance and then set the water for a tepid 75-degrees. The spray felt great against her skin as she ducked her head underneath the nozzle. Closing her eyes she concentrated on the tingling sensation of water flowing against her body. Suddenly another sensation entered, Ashley felt two large hands wrap themselves around her breasts and hot breathe on the back of her neck. She opened her eyes wide and giggled, "I thought you drowned out there snorkel man."

Tommy O'Malley was naked and at attention. "Drowning is not an option", he said, "unless of course you beg me to perform unnatural acts – right here in this shower."

Actually that's one of the tamer passages, comparatively.

Also, I wonder if we can ask Andrea Mackris about O'Reilly's views on our permissive society.