Go fuck yourself

Who said this? Michael Moore? Some right-wing radio host? No, actually, it was your Vice President:

Typically a break from partisan warfare, this year's Senate class photo turned smiles into snarls as Vice President Dick Cheney reportedly used profanity toward one senior Democrat, sources said.

Sen. Patrick Leahy of Vermont, who was on the receiving end of Cheney's ire, confirmed that the vice president used profanity during Tuesday's class photo.

"I think he was just having a bad day," said Leahy, "and I was kind of shocked to hear that kind of language on the floor."

He wasn't having a bad day, he's having a bad year.

Kevin Kellems, a spokesman for the vice president, said, "That doesn't sound like the kind of language that the vice president would use, but I can confirm that there was a frank exchange of views."

Apparently telling someone to go fuck themselves now classifies as a "frank exchange of views." There's an line in this story that using profanity while Senate is in session is against the rules, which I frankly find a little odd. But see, that's my viewpoint. I didn't say "Fuck that law!" That would be considered exchanging that viewpoint.

Breaking News: US Government Is Above The Law

Today's ruling by the Supreme Court sending the case against Vice President Cheney's secret energy task force back to the lower courts until after the election is the lastest example of how widespread the culture of secrecy is in Washington. Much like the recent "under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance decision, The Court again sidestepped actually making a potentially embarrassing ruling, instead sending the case back on procedural grounds.

The administration used a very rare procedural motion to appeal the usual process of exchanging documents - called discovery - before a trial begins. A federal district court had ordered Cheney to turn over records, but the vice president refused. When an appeals court agreed with the lower court, Cheney asked the Supreme Court to get involved.

The justices on Thursday overruled the appeals court, saying it must consider the administration's concerns more carefully. Writing for the majority, Justice Anthony Kennedy said that while the president wasn't above the law, "the judiciary must afford presidential confidentiality the greatest possible protection."

"Special considerations control when the executive branch's interests in maintaining the autonomy of its office and safeguarding the confidentiality of its communications are implicated," Kennedy wrote.

In other words, Presidents and Vice Presidents aren't subject to, you know, laws. I wonder what Republicans would've thought of this ruling if it was used to suppress Whitewater information.

By the way, this was the case from which Justice Antonin "DuckBuddy" Scalia refused to recuse himself, despite being personal friends with the defendant. In case you're fainting from the anticipation, yes, Scalia sided with Cheney. Scalia was a Reagan appointee, by the way, add that to his legacy.

This is the part of the case that kills me:

Even if the appeals court were to hear the case again this summer and reach a decision, either side could appeal that ruling back to the Supreme Court, which wouldn't be able to reconsider the case before November.

So a case about government secrecy was sent back to a lower court on a procedural ruling, and will therefore be kept secret until after the Presidential election. Ya gotta admit, these bastards are sharp as tacks.

Scaredy Cats

According to Deputy moron Paul Wolfowitz, the problem in Iraq is not that it's so dangerous nobody can leave their house, but that journalists are a bunch of cowards:

Here's what the deputy secretary of defense had to say this week on Capitol Hill:

"Frankly, part of our problem is a lot of the press are afraid to travel very much, so they sit in Baghdad and they publish rumors."

Rumors that explode in government buildings and police stations all over the country, killing 89 and wounding 318. Those kinds of rumors. Tell you what, Edward R. Wolfowitz, why don't you stand out on the front lines with a mike and a camera crew and start reporting? The problem isn't that the press is afraid to travel, you dolt, the problem is that EVERYONE is afraid to travel! Because they risk being beheaded or blown to bits. Due to an insurgency you practically created.

Sometimes I choke on the bile that rises in my throat at these times. I need a moment.

UPDATE: Apparently those scaredy cat journalists are doing something Wolfowitz and the chickenhawks aren't doing: dying for their country.

JOURNALIST DEATHS

Iraq is currently the most dangerous place in the world to work as a journalist. The total number of international media workers killed in Iraq is 30, including 8 who worked for U.S. companies. Of the total, 21 have been killed since President Bush formally declared the end of the war in May 2003. U.S. forces are responsible for at least nine deaths, including employees from the BBC, Reuters, ITN, U.S. ABC network, Arab TV stations al-Arabiya and al-Jazeera and Spanish station Telecinco. In addition, the United States has put journalists in danger by conducting strikes against known media locations. Another level of threat to journalists has come from insurgents who appear to be systematically targeting foreigners, including journalists, and Iraqis who work for them.

It must be hard for all those journalists to get killed while their hiding in their hotel rooms. Hmm. Those showers must be dangerous.

Harry Clinton and the Penis of Azkaban

This week's media trip down memory lane concerns Slick Willie's new book My Life. Just like the earlier Reagan nostalgia stroll, the media is focusing on Clinton's popularity, his optimism, his economic revolution, his presiding over peace and prosperity for eight years. Right? No, wait, they're focusing on his dick.

This was an actual exchange on the abhorrent Wolf Blitzer program "News from CNN" yesterday morning. He had Katrina vanden Heuvel of The Nation and Jonah Goldberg of The National Review on the show. But he probably should have had Dr. Drew and Annie Sprinkle. Just read this, I'm still shaking my head:

-------------------------------------------------
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

CLINTON: To me, the whole battle was a badge of honor. I don't see it as a great stain because it was illegitimate. On the day I die I'll still be glad I fought him, and I'll still be glad that I beat him. And I'll still believe that it was a bogus, phony deal.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BLITZER: Bill Clinton speaking to Dan Rather on "60 Minutes" last night. Let's return to our discussion about the former president on the eve of the public sale of his memoir, "My Life"...

When I heard him say "I don't see it as a great stain," the word "stain" jumped out at me, Katrina, for obvious reasons, remembering the single piece of evidence that got Bill Clinton into deep trouble was that stain on Monica Lewinsky's blue dress. Was this a coincidence that he used this word as precise as Bill Clinton is, or was it not?

VANDEN HEUVEL: I hadn't thought of that, Wolf, until you brought it up. You know, when I thought of "stain" -- and I thought this is a Rorschach test, this whole kind of nightmarish time warp we're reliving here, I thought of different stains.
-------------------------------------------------

You're kidding, right, Wolf? You have two journalists on and you're seriously asking about semen? I'm not Bill Clinton's biggest fan, but that has to do with substantive policy differences. But apparently the media cannot stop obsessing over porn enough to even notice those policies. And to those who think this is what America wants to hear, bullshit. This is what media thinks America wants to hear, rejected by Clinton's immense popularity in the face of impeachment back in 1999.

I wonder if Wolf and the rest of the voyeurs will get just as freaked out by Illinois Republican Senate candidate Jack Ryan's taste for the bizarre:

Actress Jeri Ryan accused ex-husband Jack Ryan of insisting she go to "explicit sex clubs" in New York, New Orleans and Paris during their marriage - including "a bizarre club with cages, whips and other apparatus hanging from the ceiling."

Jeri Ryan alleged, "he took me to a sex club in Paris, without telling me where we were going. I told him I thought it was out of his system. I told him he had promised me we would never go. People were having sex everywhere. I cried, I was physically ill. [He] became very upset with me, and said it was not a "turn on" for me to cry.

Of course, Ryan's Republican, and this was his wife at the time, so this is obviously an example of "family values." It's when you go outside the marriage, like Clinton... and Henry Hyde, and Bob Livingston, and Dan Burton, and Bob Packwood, and Helen Chenowith, and... oh, never mind.

The Wider War

One of the major arguments against the war in Iraq is that it could destabilize the entire Middle East region. Now, it's hard to believe that a region beset at all sides with brutal regimes, occupations, and suicide bombings on an almost hourly basis could get worse. However, that's exactly what looks to be happening. The great Seymour Hersh has the latest story on Israel's forays into Iraq.

Officials told me that by the end of last year Israel had concluded that the Bush Administration would not be able to bring stability or democracy to Iraq, and that Israel needed other options. Prime Minister Ariel Sharon’s government decided, I was told, to minimize the damage that the war was causing to Israel’s strategic position by expanding its long-standing relationship with Iraq’s Kurds and establishing a significant presence on the ground in the semi-autonomous region of Kurdistan.

Israeli intelligence and military operatives are now quietly at work in Kurdistan, providing training for Kurdish commando units and, most important in Israel’s view, running covert operations inside Kurdish areas of Iran and Syria.

This is about as close to WWIII as its gonna get, folks. Israel and Kurdistan in a marriage of convenience, fighting against Iran, Syria, and Iraq. Kurdistan predictably is pushing for its own sovereignty, and instead of just wanting to lop off itself from Iraq, they want to draw new ethnic boundaries, taking pieces out of Iran, Syria, and Turkey. I'm sure they won't mind. What was that line from The Princess Bride, "Never start a land war in Asia?"

Let's add to this growing cauldron the seizure of 3 British seagoing vessels today by the Iranians, and Iran's announcement over the weekend that they will resume the production of nuclear-related material (but only for energy production, they allege). And while we're at it, we can throw in the literally dozens of terrorist attacks in Saudi Arabia in recent weeks, including Friday's beheading of Lockheed Martin employee Paul Johnson, and the attacks on Saudi oil refineries.

This is the Wider War that everybody was fearing. Tension has begot more tension, and Bush's ineptitude has created a tinderbox where all of this can happen. Who knows if we can turn it around before yet another Great War.

Returned

From Spivey's Corner, North Carolina, home on the third Saturday every June to the National Hollerin' Contest. It's more of a folk art that just a bunch of rednecks screamin' and yellin', actually. Interesting to note that they're still selling freedom fries out there in the sticks. If we have to change the name of every food from every country that hates us right now, we won't have any food left...
"What about bratwurst?"
"They're from Germany, make it liberty meat."
"Okay, and shish kebabs?"
"Hmm... liberty meat 2."
"Turkey?"
"No, they wouldn't let us use their bases. Don't even order that anymore!"

I'll post more in a little bit.