Returned

From Spivey's Corner, North Carolina, home on the third Saturday every June to the National Hollerin' Contest. It's more of a folk art that just a bunch of rednecks screamin' and yellin', actually. Interesting to note that they're still selling freedom fries out there in the sticks. If we have to change the name of every food from every country that hates us right now, we won't have any food left...
"What about bratwurst?"
"They're from Germany, make it liberty meat."
"Okay, and shish kebabs?"
"Hmm... liberty meat 2."
"Turkey?"
"No, they wouldn't let us use their bases. Don't even order that anymore!"

I'll post more in a little bit.