Arnold's Big Day Out

Today, I plan to slink around and hide my face as my governor speaks at the Republican National Convention. I'm sure this will be the first time a convention speaker will make the case that he is a strong leader because he was a strong bodybuilder. But I'm willing to put down money that he'll say the following:

1) He'll use the "Thank you for changing the US Constitution, and I accept your nomination for President... oops, wrong speech" line that he's used many times before. This is classic "kidding on the square," a joke that really says "Seriously, change the Constitution so I can be President."

2) He'll do a variation on Lloyd Bentsen's critique of Dan Quayle that'll go something like this: "John Kerry wants you to think he's the second coming of John Kennedy. I have heard of John Kennedy. I married a Kennedy. You, sir, are no John Kennedy." I have heard this line ringing in my head for weeks.

3) He'll talk about how he's reformed California and got our economy back on track, despite using the same voodoo economics of borrowing and raising the debt that will put the burden on the backs of children.

4) At least 4 movie lines, lines of parodies of himself (girlie-men), or lines from the movies of other action stars ("Kaliforneea is the disease, I'm the cure!")

You won't hear:

1) "As a serial sexual offender, I proudly support this President for re-election!"

2) "We should get rid of all special interests, like the man who was making bobblehead dolls with my image."

3) "If I'm not me, then who the hell am I?"