American Taliban, Part MCMXXXIX

Movies are bad. Movies hate God! Movies cause bad, bad things. Bad.

A number of ABC affiliates have scrapped tonight's Veterans Day broadcast of Steven Spielberg's Oscar-winning film Saving Private Ryan out of concern that the unedited movie could leave them open to fines by the FederalCommunications Commission.

While the stations have already aired the World War II drama twice before, they decided to preempt this year's run after deciding Ryan's graphic depiction of the D-Day invasion and use of profanity (the film contains upwards of three dozen F-bombs) was not appropriate for prime-time in the wake of the recent FCC crackdown on CBS over Jackson's Super Bowl wardrobe malfunction.

So it's against the law now (at least as decided by these broadcasters) to show a World War II film on Veteran's Day. But also, you can't show a movie about sex:

NEW YORK -- Indignant conservative groups are protesting this week's opening of the film "Kinsey," denouncing it as propaganda seeking to glorify the researcher they blame for inspiring the sexual revolution.

"Alfred Kinsey is responsible in part for my generation being forced to deal face-to-face with the devastating consequences of sexually transmitted diseases, pornography and abortion," said Brandi Swindell, head of a college-oriented group called Generation Life that plans to picket theaters showing the film.

"Instead of being lionized, Kinsey's proper place is with Nazi Dr. Josef Mengele or your average Hollywood horror flick mad scientist," said Robert Knight, director of Concerned Women of America's Culture & Family Institute.

(Director Bill) Condon, in a telephone interview Wednesday, said Kinsey's research is open to legitimate criticism, but suggested that those denouncing his film were "confusing discussion with endorsement."

Meanwhile, recently released on video was the most violent film in decades, The Passion of the Christ, which happened to receive nary a protest from these conservative "family" groups (in fact, families were encouraged to go see it). I guess if it's Jesus being beat to within an inch of his life, that's OK. That's why I'm designing a new video game called Shoot the Pope. I figure he's an authority figure, so it's fair game. And it's perfect, because when you reach the final level and actually bust a cap in the Pope's ass, you realize that he's dying for your sin.

(Sorry if I o-fend, but bullshit censorship and rank hypocrisy like this pisses me off).