Bye-Bye Bernie

So we won't have Bernard Kerik to kick around anymore, depriving me of a great line in response to reports that White House officials thought he brought "9/11 symbolism to the Cabinet" (yeah, so would a fucking poster of the Twin Towers!). The official reason for his withdrawal from the Homeland Security Secretary post, that he employed an illegal immigrant, sounds implausible as the real reason. I mean, you'd think they could come up with ANOTHER reason other than the one used against Zoe Baird and Linda Chavez. Employing an illegal immigrant isn't the only thing that'll get you kicked out of the Cabinet. Like, oh, I don't know:

...he used police officers to do research for his memoir, incurring a $2,500 fine from the city's Conflicts of Interest Board.

...he sent homicide investigators to question and fingerprint several Fox News employees because his publisher, Judith Regan, had apparently suspected them of stealing her cellphone and necklace.

...awkward stories circulating about his romantic life, including one relationship in the Correction Department that figures in a civil lawsuit?

...in 1998 he was facing lawsuits and an arrest warrant for unpaid condominium fees (since paid, Mr. Kerik has said)...

...wasn't he worried that news reports had stirred qualms about the enormous profit he made from serving on the board of a stun-gun manufacturer, Taser International? Did he think the Senate would ignore the propriety of Taser pushing for business with markets regulated or controlled by federal agencies, including the Department of Homeland Security?

...Mr. Kerik, as both correction and police commissioner, accepted and never reported gifts from people whose companies did business with the city? And what about his putting in a word with a city agency on behalf of a construction company with a possible relationship to organized crime - a company that employed his best man and his brother.

Now, the New York Times didn't even report this stuff until the nomination was scuttled, really. And the rest of the media just followed the "nannygate" soccer ball and conveniently sidestepped these other issues. But the question does remain that, with a guy with this many questions in his background, did the Bush Administration even bother to vet him at all? Did they do ANY phone work? Or were they so happy to find a "9/11 symbolism" replacement that they overlooked all of that? Or did they just figure a recommendation of Rudy Guiliani, who I think might be dropped off a few White House rollodexes after this one, was enough?

Whatever the case, it wasn't exactly a confidence-inspiring weekend in Washington. Although, I can't think of the last time there was one.