Now That's Some Bad TV

Ugh. Instead of providing an unabashed counterweight to Fox News, Al Gore and his INdTV network is looking to capture the nonexistent "youths that want to watch other youths produce bad TV" market. You know, aside from large sections of conservatives wanting their batty ideas confirmed in the media, Fox News works for another reason: their productions look good. They have a sense of rhythm and pacing, and they've generally dressed up their ridiculous ideas in a pretty package. If this memo is an indication of what we can expect on INdTV, they're fighting fire with two wet twigs:

• "That's F*ed Up: Is there something unfathomable going on around the corner or down the street? Some state of affairs that just doesn't make sense? You can rant all you want -- it just better be good TV."

• "INdTV Paparazzi: Get someone famous to opine on something substantive. ('Hey Paris -- what did you think of Rumsfeld's quote on the armored Humvee shortage in Iraq?') Or, ask a serious figure about something not-so-substantive. Note: Don't be a stalker."

• "Citizen Reporter: Pick a news story and tell it the way it should be told. No teleprompter, no static stand-ups, no local-news hair. Honesty and humor will go a long way. This is our chance to unwind the spin."

• "All-Nighter: What goes on in your town between 2 and 5 a.m.? We're looking for truly unique stuff, anywhere from the local late-night diner to the woods down by the creek."

• "State of the Union: Give us your wisest, most irreverent State of the Union address. We're talking improvised podium, pomp, politics, personality and, of course, most importantly: sound bites."

• "Addicted: What's your addiction? Food? A fetish? A relationship? Do you lead a double life? This is first-person: time to confess."

• "INdTV Is The New Black: Are you a trend-spotter? A cool-hunter? Take off your trucker cap (or put it back on) and show us the next big thing in clothes, culture, style or slang."

I'm one of the few people in the world that can honestly say I've tried to make this kind of television. I worked on a show called "You Made It" on what was then called ZDTV (now G4TechTV). It consisted entirely of video submissions from viewers. Guess what? They looked like crap, and no amount of prettying them up could fix it.

Are you telling me that the antidote to the Corporate-Controlled Media is going to be made on miniDV shaky-cams by a bunch of teenage would-be Fellinis? How about hiring the right people, spending the right amount of money, and just doing it better? This is going to tank hard, and I won't be happy when the entire media world laughs in its face. Come on, Al, are you serious with this?