Sorry!

Now that the election is over, the President is ruminating about the efficacy of daring Jihadists to start killing Americans:

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - President George W. Bush says he regrets sending the wrong impression of the United States by using phrases like "Bring 'em on" and "dead or alive" in his first term and has pledged to be more diplomatic.

In an interview with ABC's Barbara Walters to be broadcast on Friday, Bush said some of his past remarks were too blunt.

"'Bring it on,' was a little blunt," the president said in a transcript of the interview released on Thursday.

Did "bring it on" directly lead to the deaths of US soldiers? Not really a quantifiable question. But was it a nice recruiting tool for the insurgency? Probably. Did it help our course in the world? Among moderate Muslims? Uh-uh.

In other news, Stalin said he was sorry about the purges, Pol Pot is "really embarrassed" about butchering 2 million of his citizens, and a group of Veronese rats feel just awful about the Black Death.

(I can hear detractors now saying "You just compared Bush to Stalin and Pol Pot!" Get over it, geniuses; the point's obviously that apologizing after the fact is meaningless.)

By the way, Iraq's now a breeding ground for terrorists, according to the CIA.

Afghanistan II: Electric Boogaloo!