MD-Sen: Draft Keyes!

As we know, Sen. Paul Sarbanes will not run for re-election in Maryland in '06, leaving it an open seat. What a perfect oportunity for everybody's favorite talk-show host and uberconservative demagogue, Alan Keyes! A candidate for the US Senate from Illinois, in 2004, Keyes would have the added benefit of actually being FROM the State of Maryland! That's got to be worth something!

Alan Keyes received 27% of the vote in 2004. Actually being a resident of the state he runs in should almost double that! Think about it. Keyes has a barber in Maryland. He has a butcher. He has a mailman. THAT'S THREE PEOPLE RIGHT THERE!

Plus, Keyes would be immune to the time-honored Democratic tradition of calling their opposing candidates hypocrites. Sen. Keyes (I know, it's presumptuous, but just so exciting!) may be a lot of things, but he's no hypocrite. For example, when he hates gay people, he hates ALL of them, even his own daughter!

I almost feel guilty posting this on Kos, because I know the groundswell of support a bold idea like this can engender. It's sure to get out in the media, maybe on CNN's "Inside the Blogs" or something, and then we're sure to lose the Maryland seat. But I just can't help myself! Sometimes you have to cross party lines for the good of the country. And I think Alan Keyes would make a great senator from the state of Maryland! In fact, since Keyes is also so good at running for the US Senate no matter WHAT the state, why don't we draft him to simultaneously contend for all 34 seats up for election in '06! Can you imagine 34 Alan Keyes's running around the US Capitol? Talk about nirvana! (of course, as a conservative demagogue, Keyes is opposed to human cloning as a sin against God, so that might not work. But a guy can dream, can't he?)

Visit my website, Draft Keyes!