And ice cream doesn't just show up on my plate...

More words of wisdom from the leader of the free world:

Highways just don't happen; people have got to show up and do the work to refit a highway or build a bridge.

If he'd only signed the "Highway-Fixing Elves Implementation Act of 2003," we wouldn't have these kinds of problems.

Incidentally, another group of things that just don't happen are pork-barrel projects, which the highway bill signed into law today is laden with. It includes a $200 million dollar bridge to connect the mainland of Alaska to an island inhabited by 50 people, $2.3 million for landscaping on the Ronald Reagan Freeway in California, and over 6,300 other "earmarked projects," few of which have anything to go with interstate highways.

And I know this is going to floor you, but the majority of those projects send money to districts with a Republican representative. By the way, they're the party in power. "Fiscal conservative Republican" is now a creature being added to the Endangered Species Act.