You Don't Know Jack

But you will. Oh, yes, you will:

Embattled U.S. lobbyist Jack Abramoff is expected to plead guilty on Tuesday in a corruption probe that implicates several top Republican lawmakers including former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, a Justice Department official said.

The long-expected plea will give prosecutors extra ammunition as they seek to link the activities of DeLay of Texas, Republican Rep. Bob Ney of Ohio, and other top lawmakers to favors paid for by Abramoff's lobbying clients.

According to the charges, Abramoff and former DeLay aide Michael Scanlon overbilled several Indian tribes by millions of dollars and used that money to shower golf trips, sports tickets, lavish dinners and other favors on lawmakers.

The charges are also expected to include breaking lobbying laws by hiring congressional staffers to lobby their former bosses within a year of their employment on Capitol Hill.

"It was a purpose of the conspiracy for defendant Abramoff, Scanlon and others to enrich themselves by obtaining substantial funds from their clients through fraud and concealment," the charges said.

I fully expect the Republican spin machine to come out and say "He gave money to both parties!" to try and equivocate this, but I don't see how that can stick when prominent Republicans are mentioned in the suit:

One unidentified lawmaker agreed to support legislation sought by Abramoff, place statements supporting him in theCongressional Record -- the official daily report on congressional proceedings, and give one of his clients a contract to provide wireless telephone service to the House of Representatives, the charges said.

That description matches actions taken by Ney, who inserted comments supporting Abramoff into the Congressional Record and who oversees routine matters like wireless service in congressional buildings as chairman of the House Administration Committee.

Ney's attorney Mark Tuohey was not immediately available for comment.

Yeah, he was too busy throwing up in the Capitol Rotunda men's room.

I don't have any apostasy about this. If Democrats took money from Jack and summarily made votes favorable to his clients, out the door with them too. But here's a simple analogy. If the Plame case was about how the White House works, this Abramoff case is about how Congress works. And Congress doesn't do a damn thing unless the GOP Leadership says "Boo." So you can try all you want to paint the former leader of the College Republicans as a bipartisan sleaze merchant, but that dog don't hunt, as we say in my pinko queer-loving liberal enclaves.

Look no further than our favorite screenwriter Dana Rohrabacher's take on Abramoff, just a few days ago:

"I think he's been dealt a bad hand and the worst, rawest deal I've ever seen in my life. Words like bribery are being used to describe things that happened every day in Washington and are not bribes."

Somebody didn't get the "he's going to plea bargain and we need to disassociate ourselves with this guy" memo. As a result, we get an insight into what's going on here. What the Justice Department calls a felony, the Republican Party calls politics.