The President Owes Me $325,000

I could give a fuck about cursing. The previous sentence is proof. But the President obviously thinks it's such a threat to the nation and our children that he signed punitive new laws that increased fines for obscenities by tenfold, and put the burden of payment on the individual broadcaster. He's even got the FCC checking old tapes from live programs to scour for curse words.

So I'm sure he'll have no problem coughing up six figures' worth of cash the same way he coughed up the word "shit" to describe the Middle East:

It wasn't meant to be overheard. Private luncheon conversations among world leaders, picked up by a microphone, provided a rare window into both banter and substance — including President Bush cursing Hezbollah's attacks against Israel.

Bush expressed his frustration with the United Nations and his disgust with the militant Islamic group and its backers in Syria as he talked to British Prime Minister Tony Blair during the closing lunch at the Group of Eight summit.

"See the irony is that what they need to do is get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing this s--- and it's over," Bush told Blair as he chewed on a buttered roll.

He told Blair he felt like telling U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan, who visited the gathered leaders, to get on the phone with Syrian President Bashar Assad to "make something happen." He suggested Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice might visit the region soon.

The unscripted comments came during a photo opportunity at the lunch. The leaders clearly did not realize that a live microphone was picking up their discussion.

But that doesn't matter. According to new FCC rules, signed by the President into law, anyone caught uttering an expressly banned word is responsible for paying $325,000 to the government for every broadcast station on which that obscenity aired. They even DIRECTLY addressed accidental uses of expletives, and ruled that fuck and shit are indecent whenever they go out over the airwaves, no matter what. Even if it was an accident.

I'm calling the FCC today. We cannot have this kind of obscenity infecting the ears of our nation's youth. You make the rules, you play by them.

Here's the FCC web form. Do it for the kids.