Hey Democrats, Take A Look At What You've Bought!

I know the bloom of buying an entire war has barely come off the rose. I mean, Democrats haven't had a whole war of their own to play with since 1969! But with Iraq, you get so much more than just a war. Just take a look:

You also receive the world's largest embassy, a 592 million-dollar, 104 acre pleasure palace brought in on time and on budget, maybe the only thing in Iraq built with solid construction and free of bomb distress! This 21-building "Thunderdome on the Tigris" should in no way give the impression that Americans are imperial occupiers fixing to stay in Iraq until time immemorial! After all, the Democrats bought Iraq, and they have no such imperial designs!

But that's not all. At no extra charge, other than the $120 billion appropriated, you will get a fine collection of lily pads! And when I say lily pads, I mean permanent installations for 30-40,000 soldiers:

[W]hat it essentially envisions is a series of military installations around Iraq, maybe five or six of them, a total of maybe 30-40 thousand U.S. troops in Iraq for a long period of time, lasting, maybe a few decades. And the idea is that these bases will be somewhat hermetically sealed, that U.S. military forces won’t be leaving them, they won’t be conducting presence patrols and the patrols they conduct now. Ground convoys won’t be driving into them.

Airplanes will be essentially landing in to deliver supplies and these sort of lily pads will be in various strategic areas in Iraq … And that will enable the U.S. military to maintain a presence in the country, perhaps…for a few decades.

This is exactly the kind of infrastructure you'll need to keep a perpetual residual force in Iraq, just like your leading Presidential candidate wants to do!

But wait! Because you acted now, we're going to throw in absolutely free a confidential second surge! Some call it escalation; hell, you just bought it, call it whatever you want! But the point is that you'll be presiding over a situation in Iraq with not 100,000, not 150,000, but 200,000 troops in country by Christmas!

The little-noticed efforts to reinforce U.S. troops in Iraq are being carried out without the fanfare that accompanied President Bush’s initial troop surge in January.

The second “surge” of troops to Iraq is being executed by deploying more combat brigades to the country, plus extending tours of duty for troops already there.

Retired Army Maj. Gen. William Nash, the U.S. commander who led NATO troops into Bosnia in late 1995, asked to comment on the findings, said: “It doesn’t surprise me that they’re not talking about it. I think they would be very happy not to have any more attention paid to this.”

Shhh!!!

Now, when you buy the war in Iraq, you don't just get the occupation or the death statistics or the soldiers held hostage to increased deployments. No, you also get the Iraqi government, a plucky bunch of 275 of the most well-rested lawmakers this side of the Atlantic Ocean. In fact, if you want to meet with them, you don't even need to leave the country!

Iraqi president Jalal Talabani at the Mayo clinic for medical treatment. SCIRI/SICI leader Abdul Aziz Hakim in Houston for treatment of lung cancer. The two leading candidates for greater federalism of Iraq in the States for medical treatment.

Some might find it odd that the President of Iraq would leave at a crucial time for the Parliament to satisfy benchmarks to lose weight at a fat farm, but on the other hand, it may be perfect timing for the latest potential gift to you, Democrats: a freshly minted and new Iraqi government!

As Iraq's government compiles a record of failure, the Bush administration is under growing pressure to intervene to rearrange Baghdad's dysfunctional political order, or even install a new leadership.

Publicly, administration officials say they remain committed to Prime Minister Nouri Maliki, even though after a year in office, his elected government has failed to complete any important steps toward political reconciliation — the legislative "benchmarks" sought by U.S. officials.

But privately, some U.S. officials acknowledge that the congressional clamor to find another approach will increase sharply in coming months if no progress is made toward tamping down sectarian violence, bringing more minority Sunnis into the government and fairly dividing up the nation's oil resources.

Yes, those oil resources must be divided fairly... between the heads of the world's biggest oil companies, that is. And if they aren't, this would certainly be a good time to put in a strongman like Iyad Allawi to oversee the country. After all, Democrats, you just bought the war, why not clean house and change the leadership in one fell swoop! I mean, this government certainly isn't responding to threats.

Note this: Bush and Cheney have resorted to threatening the al-Maliki government with a withdrawal of American forces if they don't pass the Oil Law. And the effect on the Iraqis is . . . "OK, go ahead and leave. We'll start planning for that contingency now." This means that Cheney and Bush just shot their wad, and lost.

Leave? No, no, there's no leaving. We Democrats just got this thing!

I don't want to leave out some of the exciting consolation prizes Democrats will receive. They get a stalled domestic agenda, a release of the ability to end the war to the Republicans who wrote the benchmark bill and set the "September timeline" in the first place, a fresh stream of newly declassified information designed to dishonestly keep America in Iraq longer by claiming it will be a terrorist haven if we leave, and... a base to launch a whole new war with Iran!!! Sorry, a "covert action." So covert that you can see it off the coast.

The U.S. Navy staged its latest show of military force off the Iranian coastline on Wednesday, sending two aircraft carriers and landing ships packed with 17,000 U.S. Marines and sailors to carry out unannounced exercises in the Persian Gulf.

The carrier strike groups led by the USS John C. Stennis and USS Nimitz were joined by the amphibious assault ship USS Bonhomme Richard and its own strike group, which includes landing ships carrying members of the 13th Marine Expeditionary Unit.

The Navy said nine U.S. warships passed through the narrow Strait of Hormuz on Wednesday. Merchant ships passing through the busy strait carry two-fifths of the world's oil exports.

So enjoy your new gifts, Democrats. You'll have enough to keep you busy for the next 18 months! Sure, it might cost you a contribution or three...