I've Been Remiss

No discussion of Ken Calvert is complete without discussing his 1993 arrest for getting caught with a hooker. Think Progress helpfully provides the police report.

I observed a male subject in the driver seat…As I made my way to the driver door, a female immediately sat up straight in the front passenger seat. It appeared as if her head was originally laying in the driver’s lap. … I noticed that the male subject was placing his penis into his unzipped dress slacks, and was trying to hide it with his untucked dress shirt.

As the male subject covered up crotch area with his left hand and shirt, he started his vehicle and placed it into drive and proceeded to leave. I ordered him three times to turn off the vehicle, and he finally stopped and complied…The male identified himself as Kenneth Stanton Calvert ... Calvert continued to cover his unzipped pants with his hands and stated “We’re just talking, that’s all. Nothing else."

"We're just talking about my penis! What's the problem? We're just having a candid discussion about my unencumbered Johnson! Maybe you aren't adult enough to talk about your Roger with a young lady, but I can assure you, I can!"

For the record, I'm not sure prostitution should be illegal, it's the excuse that cracks me up.