I Wish I Knew How To Quit You

George Bush and Tony Blair need to just own up to the world that they're gay for each other. This is a tolerant society, nobody's going to mind. And it'll be a load off of the mind of that beard Laura:

U.S. President George W. Bush bid a reluctant farewell to his close friend and ally Tony Blair on Thursday as the two met at the British prime minister's final G8 summit.

"This is the last meeting I will have had with him as prime minister. It's a nostalgic moment for me," Bush told reporters, standing beside Blair after bilateral talks at the gathering of the world's top powers in Germany.

"I'm sorry it's come to be, but that's what happens in life. We'll move on," he added.

"Maybe we'll go off to some mountain in Wyoming every year or so for a fishing vacation, you know, just us boys, a mini-summit. We'll wear our cowboy hats and boots and clear some brush. I'd sure like to clear his brush."

Here's the hilarious punchline, apparently the love in unrequited:

Blair, asked later if he was equally as sad as Bush, said he was too enmeshed in the details of tackling climate change at the G8 to think about his imminent departure.

"To be absolutely frank, I'm so into the difference between various linking systems of emissions trading that I haven't the time to feel nostalgic or anything else," Blair said.

"Stupid science, gettin' in the way of our love! Dad-gum global warmin'!"

For such a "steely-eyed hero," there's never been someone more unnecessary maudlin than George Bush. He sounds like a character from a Douglas Sirk 1950s melodrama. Yo, Blair, want some advice? Lock your door in Heiligendamm at night. This could go all Fatal Atraction very quickly.

"Look, I boiled a rabbit for ya, Blair! Don't leave me, Blair! I'm all alone here!"