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As featured on p. 218 of "Bloggers on the Bus," under the name "a MyDD blogger."

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Infinite Monkeys


One hypothesis goes that infinite monkeys typing on infinite keyboards for an infinite amount of time would eventually produce the collected works of Shakespeare.

"Return on Success." Hmmm. This new slogan for the Iraq war doesn't quite have the zing of its predecessors. It's a phrase better suited to remarks by a mediocre CEO at the corporate retreat than a rousing rah-rah call. The phrase suggests unremarkable, bland bureaucratese rather than huah. One feels the Bush Administration's previously all-important job at producing muscular, assertive rhetoric has now been delegated to lesser lights picking away at keyboards in some sub-basement of the West Wing.

The man who coined the phrase Axis of Evil has this to say about the latest effort:

"I thought it was a good phrase," says former Bush speechwriter David Frum in a telephone interview. "The problem is the public forms its own views about whether you're succeeding or not, and there's a danger with you insisting you are succeeding when the public sees no evidence of that proposition.

"I thought the way to go was televise from the map room and stand there with a bunch of maps and a laser pointer," Frum, now a resident fellow at the American Enterprise Institute, says. "Don't worry about the phrasing. At this point language doesn't matter very much."


Interesting that Mr. Frum recognizes that hypertrophied rhetoric does tend to open up a credibility gap when audiences cannot help but observe that events are so starkly divergent. He is, after all, directly responsible for overinflating a lot of hot-air balloons.

Let's take a stroll through the Museum of Post 9/11 Slogans. Don't forget your flag lapel pin on the way in.

September 13, 2007: "Return on Success" - "The more we succeed, the more troops we can bring home from Iraq. The president calls this policy 'return on success,' and that will be a major emphasis of the speech."


November 30, 2005: "Plan for Victory" - "I will settle for nothing less than complete victory," said Mr Bush, standing above a large banner which read 'Plan For Victory'. "Victory will come when the terrorists and Saddamists can no longer threaten Iraq’s democracy."


August 30, 2004: "Catastrophic Success" - "Had we had to do it over again," [Bush] said, "we would look at the consequences of catastrophic success, being so successful so fast that an enemy that should have surrendered or been done in escaped and lived to fight another day."


May 1, 2003: "Mission Accomplished" - Moments after the landing, the president, wearing a green flight suit and holding a white helmet, got off the plane, saluted those on the flight deck and shook hands with them. Above him, the tower was adorned with a big sign that read, "Mission Accomplished. ...

THE PRESIDENT: "Thank you all very much. Admiral Kelly, Captain Card, officers and sailors of the USS Abraham Lincoln, my fellow Americans: Major combat operations in Iraq have ended. In the battle of Iraq, the United States and our allies have prevailed."


November 8, 2001: "Let's Roll" - "We cannot know every turn this battle will take. Yet we know our cause is just and our ultimate victory is assured. We will, no doubt, face new challenges. But we have our marching orders: My fellow Americans, let's roll."

So much for victory!

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