Polly Prissy-Pants

In a deeply unsatisfying week on the political front, you have to thank your personal deity for simple pleasures. Like the schadenfreude you can take away from this story.

President Bush may like to be seen as a swaggering tough guy with a penchant for manly outdoor pursuits, but in a new book one of his closest allies has said he is afraid of horses.

Vicente Fox, the former president of Mexico, derided his political friend as a "windshield cowboy" – a cowboy who prefers to drive – and "the cockiest guy I have ever met in my life".

He recalled a meeting in Mexico shortly after both men had been elected when Mr Fox offered Mr Bush a ride on a "big palomino" horse.

Mr Fox, who left office in December, recalled Mr Bush "backing away" from the animal.

''A horse lover can always tell when others don't share our passion," he said, according to the Washington Post.

The guy was born in Connecticut and went to private boarding schools before legacy enrollments at Yale and Harvard. He's a guy who likes to play dress-up to convince gullible voters that he's authentically one of them. But the fact that the whole cowboy thing is SUCH a pose that he's actually scared of horses is just the icing on the cake. Say hello to Mr. All Hat And Five Cattle:

Mr Bush has spoken of his fondness for shooting doves and cutting brush on his Crawford ranch in Texas, which he bought in 1999.

The property reportedly has no horses and only five cattle.