One Morning Ought To Nail This Middle East Peace Thing

After seven years of nothing but inattention to the Israeli-Palestinian crisis, Bush thinks he can knock this out on the last day before the test by studying really hard.

President Bush declared Tuesday that the time is right to relaunch Mideast peace talks to create a Palestinian state because "a battle is under way for the future" of the troubled region.

"Yes, a battle between the people of the Middle East, and my fighters. A battle I started! And now it's time for you all to get together and fix it."

In remarks prepared for the U.S.-arranged Annapolis Mideast peace conference, Bush said peacemaking at this juncture of history is an opportunity that cannot be missed. He said it won't be easy to achieve the goal of creating two states — Israel and Palestine — living side by side in peace after decades of conflict and bloodshed, but also said the two sides nevertheless must work together for the sake of their people.

"Go ahead and work together. We're going to intervene on the side of Israel at every opportunity, but you should work together. It's a do as I say, not as I do kind of thing."

"Our purpose here in Annapolis is not to conclude an agreement. Rather, it is to launch negotiations between the Israelis and Palestinians," Bush said. "For the rest of us, our job is to encourage the parties in this effort and to give them the support they need to succeed."

"We must start talking about starting talking!"

Meanwhile, I'm puzzled why these talks have anything to do with Condi Rice's legacy. She already has one, and it's tragic. She failed to act on warnings before 9/11 as National Security Adviser, she's overseen conflagrations all over the world as Secretary of State. Many a world leader has crashed on the rocks of the Middle East while trying to sustain a legacy. In this case, the track record is already at the bottom of the ocean.

UPDATE: Hey, apparently these peace talks are a gang rape because Syria and Saudi Arabia are involved. I've noticed an increasing reliance on rape imagery from these idiots, between Grover Norquist calling bipartisanship date rape, among other lines. If profiling were legal, I'd line these white men up.