It's Irresponsible Not To Speculate

Look, I've only met Mickey Kaus once. He was not trying to sodomize a goat at the time. Is that evidence that he doesn't sodomize goats on a regular basis? I think we have to ask the question.

Also, I hear his carpeting is pregnant with a Presidential love-child. Sure, it's just something written on the Internet. But it HAS to be part of any conversation we have about Kaus at any time ever.

I mean, there are goats in America, there's carpeting in America. Mickey Kaus LIVES in America. Do I have to connect all the dots here?