There Is No Other Good Title For This But "Drill Baby Drill"

Really, I tried to come up with something different, but it's too perfect:

Government officials handling billions of dollars in oil royalties engaged in illicit sex with employees of energy companies they were dealing with and received numerous gifts from them, federal investigators said Wednesday.

The alleged transgressions involve 13 Interior Department employees in Denver and Washington. Their alleged improprieties include rigging contracts, working part-time as private oil consultants, and having sexual relationships with — and accepting golf and ski trips and dinners from — oil company employees, according to three reports released Wednesday by the Interior Department's inspector general.

In bed with Big Oil. Literally.

Meanwhile OPEC's going to cut supply, making a total mockery out of any of these "drill now" efforts, because no amount of spigot opening on our coasts could have as much of an impact as one nod of the head from the Saudis. We have to get off oil. But with Republicans in the White House, we won't, because the GOP and Big Oil are fucking each other. Actually fucking each other.

Please go back to talking about lipstick now.