Hugging The Panda

This Bill O'Reilly interview on Jon Stewart last night wasn't necessarily significant for Billo's typical dross about how Stewart would be "stoned to death" if he ever visited Alabama (because, as you know, Bill does his show four nights a week from Tuscaloosa) or how this is a center-right nation based on traditionalism (though Stewart's retort about how the tradition of America is the pursuit of individual freedom and gay marriage is the next logical step was pretty good) and how "we're the noble nation" (submitted without comment). No, the best, most revealing part came at the end. Stewart kicked off the segment by showing a bunch of quotes about how nervous and scared Billo is with the prospect of an Obama Presidency, and then he pulled out the cocoa and marshmallows and a snuggly teddy bear and tried to make him feel more comfortable. Late in the interview, a propos of nothing, O'Reilly starts talking about the bear. I'm putting this moment on the couch. It starts around 5:30.

O'REILLY: As long as I can have the panda, I'm fine.

STEWART: That's not a panda!

O'REILLY: Sure it is! This is a panda! What do you think it is?

STEWART: You've gotta get out of your "luxury Long Island life" and get around and start seeing animals.

It's really not that he got the name of the animal wrong. It's that he was so sure of it, and immediately when told he was wrong, he clung to it. That's not only his knee-jerk reaction, but the entire conservative movement. Their version of what's right is whatever their opponents say is wrong. Facts are tangential.

I didn't think we'd ever get such a clear "2+2=5" moment, on national television no less. Maybe I shouldn't make so much out of it, but I'm instituting this feature into my writing: any time a conservative delivers obvious misinformation, they will be heretofore described as "hugging the panda." And when you're in an argument with one of them, over whether this is a center-right nation or whether tax cuts increase revenue or whether the social safety net hurts poor people, remember that these are the kind of people who not only think a teddy bear is a panda, but who insist it even when they are told they are wrong.

I'm a tree-hugger? You're a panda-hugger.