Also, He'll Never Send A Million Dollars To The ACLU Unless They "Lighten Up"

Bill O'Reilly has laid down the marker. Under no circumstances will he ever, ever, visit Spain.



O'REILLY: Finally, unless this action is condemned by the Spanish Prime Minister Zapatero, then I am not going to that country.

In a related development, Spain asked to get that in writing. I don't know if this extends to Billo's poolboy Jesse Walters, who could have a field day on a 6-night tour of the Costa del Sur ambushing random Spanish girls.

Meanwhile, Dennis Miller chi-chis that the Spanish "folded like a balsa wood chair after a Cat 5" after the Madrid train bombing. But they haven't had a terrorist attack on their soil since, and because that's the only marker on which we're supposed to judge President Bush, clearly Zapatero is a strong, powerful leader. Wait, their arguments have no internal logic? Stop.

(By the way, I'd love to see Miller playing the Waziristan Chuckle Hut and backpedaling furiously, "Hey, you cats are solid, America has been asking for it like a terminal cancer patient by a Kevorkian machine! Can I keep my testicles?")